OKAY, WHICH IS IT?

I realize that things are getting fairly skimpy in the mainstream press.  Layoffs, downsizing, and–you know–saving money.  But it’s starting to get ridiculous.  Some cases in point:

Two stories in the same newspaper –on the same day.  First headline: Winter holiday anti-DUI campaign nets 57 arrests in Butte County.   Second headline:  Butte County logs 92 holiday DUI arrests.  I never did find out which story was right.  Okay, which is it?

Here’s another from the internet’s Money News.  Euro UNLIKELY TO LAST THE DECADE.  Same internet page: Euro is world’s MOST SOLID CURRENCY.  Okay, which is it?

From the Sacramento Bee, a news story about the inclement weather in southern California:  Branches from one falling tree hit Greg Mora’s car.  Mora SUFFERED A GASHED FOREHEAD.  NO INJURIES were reported from the toppling trees.  Okay, which is it?

And finally, this gem:  Two stories, same subject, two different news sources.  From the Sacramento Bee dated December 10th:  For the sixth year in a row, MORE PEOPLE LEFT CALIFORNIA FOR OTHER STATES than came here from them, according to the Department of Finance.  But on the very same day in the Chico Enterprise Record, there’s this from the Associated Press:  California’s population grew less than 1 percent in the last fiscal year as FEWER PEOPLE MOVED TO OTHER STATES.

It certainly gives impetus to the ol’ saying “Don’t believe everything you read in the newspapers –or on the internet for that matter.

WORLD SERIES –of spitting

If you’ve ever watched a basketball game on TV, you might have noticed the athletes never spit on the floor. Tennis players never spit on the courts. Golfers never spit on the greens. But baseball athletes are notorious for spitting. They’re notorious for crotch grabbing. They spit in the dugout…and spit on the infield…and in the S…S.and scratch their crotches (mostly while on base.)

I’m not much of a baseball fan except for the World Series. But I don’t watch the games to see which team scores the most points by running across home plate. I watch the World Series to see which team spits and crotch-grabs the most.

I still haven’t figured out why baseball players spit so much. It must have something to do with helping their team win. Why else would baseball players do it but basketball players don’t. If basketball players started spitting on the hardwoods, I’m sure it would change the dynamics of the game. Professional golfers would change the dynamics of their game if they started spitting on the fairways or greens…because the first golfer who hocked up one would finish out the round minus a few teeth.

Baseball players are the champions of spitting! As I watch the current World Series, I’m counting the number of times each team’s players spit and/or grab their crotch. By the time the World Series is over, one team will be crowned World Series Champions for having won the most games in the 7-game series….but one team will take home the crown for the most spits and most crotch-grabs.

I’ll tally the number of spits and crotch-grabs of each team and declare a champion. It matters not to me which team wins the most games or scores the most home runs. I’m just not that much of a baseball fan. I’m a football junky (which explains why I have omitted the fact that football players do a lot of spitting too….but they’re excused.) I would never write anything to demean football teams (unless it’s the Oakland Raiders.)

 

 

 

The Liberal Follies

It amazes me that left-wing liberals (and first cousin environmental wackos) continue to come up with cockamamie schemes which get off the ground only to come crashing back to earth. Their problem is…..they never follow through in their planning, to the final conclusion. Their plans may look good, sound good, and make ‘em FEEL good. And that’s where it ends.

Let me give you some examples: California’s environmental watchdog, known as CAL-EPA decided to set an example by making the Cal-EPA building “environmentally correct” by installing waterless urinals. 56 of the urinals were purchased and installed in the building. The cost? $25,000.

The objective? Saving 1 million gallons of water per year. Once the fan fare and ’going green’ media hoopla died down, the complaints began pouring in. Hundreds of ‘em. Complaints of sticky floors and bad smells. Finally, the green team at Cal EPA surrendered and ordered the urinals removed.

In Seattle, the town council squandered five MILLION dollars of taxpayer money. The council purchased five automated public toilets. The fancy toilets were to be placed in neighborhoods where drug users, transients, prostitutes and homosexuals congregate. These fancy johns weren’t “pay to operate” either. They were free. A gift to the destitute from the city. It made city officials ‘feel good.’  At first!

Problems began showing up almost immediately. Those who DID use the facilities left so much trash around, the automatic floor scrubbers wouldn’t work. Prostitutes, druggies and homosexuals found immediate use for the privacy behind the locked doors. But, it got SO BAD, even the destitute refused to use the facilities which became a health hazzard.

The city council decided it wasn’t such a great idea after all. So the question became…what to do with the five automated toilets. Answer? Sell ‘em on eBay. The toilets cost one million dollars apiece. Starting bid on eBay? $89,000.

Then there’s “paper or plastic?” By taking the plastic, we were saving the trees. Okay, so we’ve saved a bunch of trees, but look what plastic bags have done to our landfills, creeks. So now, it’s back to paper bags (at a price) or cloth bags. San Francisco has become the first city to outlaw plastic bags –period.

How about those wooden baseball bats in our schools. Oh…they require trees to be cut down in order to be manufactured. Replaced by aluminum bats. Injuries to kids skyrocket.

Then there was the idea of dumping millions of old tires in the ocean to provide habitat for fish. The tires scrubbed the ocean floor clean including coral and the fish didn’t want anything to do with ‘em. The fish left. The tires stayed, until the U.S. Navy was called in to retrieve ‘em all.

 I’ve often shined the light on the subject of the “best laid plans of mice and men.” Ideas that politicians, bureaucrats, environmental wackos and others come up with which end up biting everybody else in the butt. One would think they’d eventually stop all this nonsense, but unfortunately, it’s not in their character. THEY want to “feel good”.   WE have to pay.

5 Million Bucks Flushed Down Toilet

FRIDAY 8-08-08…Alright….we’ve made it to a Friday…..and we always try to keep Friday’s Tidbits positive and uplifting as we head into the weekend. In the search for positive and uplifting Tidbits, I came across one that underscores that ol saying “The best laid plans of mice and men.” Usually, it has to do with liberal-think which DOESN’T think new ideas through to obvious conclusions.

Such is the case for Seattle’s automatic toilets. Seattle is a hotbed of liberals who think they have the answer to everything, only to find out they have answers to nothing. You may recall the attempt to pass a ten-cent-a-cup tax on coffee. The idea was to amass a bunch o’ money which would allegedly — be used to subsidize child day care. It went down to defeat at the polls.

Then, the powers that be decided to spend five million bucks of taxpayer money to buy five automated public toilets. The fancy toilets would be placed in neighborhoods where drug users, transients, prostitutes, and homosexuals congregate. They weren’t “pay to operate” either. They were free of charge. A “gift” to the destitute from the city. It made city officials “feel good”. At least, at first.

Problems began showing up almost immediately. Those who DID use the facilities left so much trash around, the automatic floor scrubbers wouldn’t work. Prostitutes, druggies and homosexuals found immediate use for the privacy behind the locked doors. It got so bad that even the most destitute refused to use the facilities, which became a definite health hazard.

The city council decided the idea wasn’t such a good idea after all. So, now, the question becomes…what to do with the five automated toilets? Answer—sell ‘em on eBay. Each of the toilets cost a million bucks, but the starting bid on eBay? A mere $89,000. Taxpayers can kiss that five million goodbye. They’re probably wishing they could kiss the city council goodbye, too.

Sex and the Cit…uh…Beach

WEDNESDAY 7-30-08…The Cape Cod Times and the Boston Herald are reporting on a trend that really gotten outta’ hand lately. Sex on public beaches. Cape Cod National Seashore officials say they’re starting to crack down on public sex acts along that picturesque shoreline after the number of citations for public sex acts has more than tripled from an average of 40 to 132 last year.

It seems the beach in Provincetown has been declared the favorite for homosexuals, and according to George Price, superintendent of the National Seashore, ” it’s certainly not what we’re interested in seeing.” He says “Over the last couple of years, public sex acts like this have been viewed by visitors and they are quick to complain.”

He says officials are baffled as to why the vacation mecca has suddenly become a hotbed of public sex for exhibitionists. Complaints have included whale-watchers sailing past large groups of nude men, and families stumbling on people engaged in sex acts on the pristine national shore that attracts tens of thousands of vacationers from throughout the world every year.

The Cape Cod Times reports that a New Jersey family walking in the dunes, encountered couples and a large group of men having sex in the nude, including oral and anal sex right out in the open. According to Price, such scenes send vacationing families and tourists packing.

I suppose there are those who would consider the fleeing tourists, bigots or homophobes. I am neither…but it’s certainly not a scene that I’d want my family, my children, to come across. Would you?

 

Adopt a Military Dog

Military Working Dog Foundation photos
Military Working Dog Bruno in Germany

FRIDAY 3-28-08…I spent my final years in the Navy training narcotic detector dogs, and the following ten years training police service dogs, and search and rescue dogs. So often, while demonstrating the value of such dogs, I’ve heard members of the public say “gee…I sure wish I had one of those.”

Well, now you can! Debbie Kandoll is the wife of an Air Force officer currently on active duty, and she wants to get the word out to other military families, retirees, and civilians, that retired military dogs are available for adoption at military working dog facilities across the country. Her story appears In the current edition of Navy Times.

She adopted Benny, a 10 year old German Shepherd who had been declared “excess” by the military and scheduled to be euthanized, according to his military medical records. Today, Benny is a spry German Shepherd, and anything but excess to Debbie, who found him during a determined search to adopt a retired military working dog.

She says she thought at first that she could adopt retired dogs only through the Defense Military Working Dog School at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, but people should check with regional facilities to see what’s available. As for Benny, he’s thriving and he now gets to sleep on comfy pillows instead of concrete. Although he’s no longer on military patrols or sniffing for drugs, he’s anything but retired.

He visits hospitals, including the Department of Veterans Affairs hospital in Durham, North Carolina as a certified therapy dog.

Under a law passed in 2000, dogs declared “excess” by the Defense Department can be adopted by law enforcement agencies, prior military handlers, and the general public. Ron Aiello, founder of the U.S. War dogs Association and former military dog handler in Vietnam says “I’d like to see more veterans adopt military working dogs.”

If you’d like more information, you can check Debbie’s Web site which is www.militaryworkingdogs.com

Political Dichotomy: Cuba – China

 dichotomy.png

FRIDAY 3-7-08…I had an interesting conversation with my wife, which left me somewhat dumbfounded. It went something like this:

She; “Now that Fidel Castro has stepped down in Cuba, that’s a good thing, right?”

Me: “Uh, well…I suppose so, but his spot is being taken over by his brother.”She: But, at least it’s not Fidel, so that’s a good thing, right?

Me: “Well…not necessarily. We’ll still be keeping our embargo in place.”

She: “Embargo?”

Me: “Yeah, we don’t trade with Cuba and we don’t allow them to trade with us. That’s why it’s against the law to have Cuban cigars on your person in this country. You have to drive all the way to Canada to buy ‘em and then try to sneak ‘em into this country.”

She: “Why do we have the embargo?”Me: “Because Cuba is a Communist country.”

She: “China is a Communist country and we still trade with them. And Vietnam is a Communist country and we trade with them.”

Me: “Uh…well….this is true….but……I think maybe it has something to do with Miami.”

She: “Miami???” Me: “Yeah, ya’ see, there a very large Cuban presence in Miami, and they don’t like Fidel or his brother Raul. If this country started making nice to Cuba, politicians who support the move might get voted out of office.”

She: “So…..it’s really…..all political?

Me: “Yep, you got it sweetie. It’s really all political. Is dinner ready?