WORLD SERIES –of spitting

If you’ve ever watched a basketball game on TV, you might have noticed the athletes never spit on the floor. Tennis players never spit on the courts. Golfers never spit on the greens. But baseball athletes are notorious for spitting. They’re notorious for crotch grabbing. They spit in the dugout…and spit on the infield…and in the S…S.and scratch their crotches (mostly while on base.)

I’m not much of a baseball fan except for the World Series. But I don’t watch the games to see which team scores the most points by running across home plate. I watch the World Series to see which team spits and crotch-grabs the most.

I still haven’t figured out why baseball players spit so much. It must have something to do with helping their team win. Why else would baseball players do it but basketball players don’t. If basketball players started spitting on the hardwoods, I’m sure it would change the dynamics of the game. Professional golfers would change the dynamics of their game if they started spitting on the fairways or greens…because the first golfer who hocked up one would finish out the round minus a few teeth.

Baseball players are the champions of spitting! As I watch the current World Series, I’m counting the number of times each team’s players spit and/or grab their crotch. By the time the World Series is over, one team will be crowned World Series Champions for having won the most games in the 7-game series….but one team will take home the crown for the most spits and most crotch-grabs.

I’ll tally the number of spits and crotch-grabs of each team and declare a champion. It matters not to me which team wins the most games or scores the most home runs. I’m just not that much of a baseball fan. I’m a football junky (which explains why I have omitted the fact that football players do a lot of spitting too….but they’re excused.) I would never write anything to demean football teams (unless it’s the Oakland Raiders.)

 

 

 

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SENDING A KILLER TO CONGRESS?

It seems rather strange heading into election day knowing that all the candidates on the ballot are crooks! I make that statement based on all the campaign ads hitting the airwaves and mailers hitting the mailboxes. Based on the ads, it seems that every candidate is either a drunk, an adulterer, a thief, a puppet for special interests, a Muslim, a Christian, an Atheist, a Witch, and on and on it goes.

Having an interest in politics since the age of five (at which time I campaigned for Franklin Roosevelt while pulling my little red wagon along 2nd street yelling “vote for Roosevelt” — the campaign trail being only a block long ‘cause my mom wouldn’t let me cross the street) I must admit our current election cycle is the dirtiest that I’ve ever encountered.

It was former president Bill Clinton who coined the term “politics of personal destruction.” It was bad back then, but it’s worse now. It appears to me that the only way to win an election is to demonize an opponent even if it means playing fast and loose with the truth. Truth is the first casualty in an election season. There may be a tiny element of truth in a negative ad….say…..one percent, while ninety nine percent are absolute lies.

 Here’s an example of how that works: Say, John Schmuck is running for Congress. He’s clean, articulate and honestly believes he can do a good job in the office he seeks. His opponent, suffering in the polls has to do something to destroy Mr. Schmuck. He creates an ad accusing Schmuck of taking campaign donations from special interests out of state. Turns out, the donation of ten dollars to Schmuck’s campaign was from his grandmother, who lives out of state.

That’s how it works! And it gets worse in the final week before the election. A candidate who is the target of a negative ad has no time to respond. So just remember, if you hear or receive a flyer in the mail stating “Do we really want to send a killer to Congress”, that “killer” was merely caught on camera, SWATTING A FLY….but that part was intentionally left out.

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LIPS OF A FOOL

It seems to me, President Obama, while on the campaign trail will say anything just to make a “sale.” Remember the promise of “100 percent transparency in my administration.” And how about the promise of five days of public comment before signing any bills. Then there was “I will remove earmarks for pork projects before signing any bills.”

All of those “promises” were broken of course. Now he’s campaigning for Democrats hoping to shore up their decreasing chances at reelection. At one campaign stop, Obama said “When you want to move forward in your car, what do you do? You put your car in D. When you want to move backwards, you put your car in R.”

That’s an interesting way to try to define the difference between Democrat and Republican, but I found a much better way. It’s found in the Scriptures. Specifically Ecclesiastes 10:2 where it reads “The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the LEFT. The lips of a fool will swallow up himself.”

WELL I’LL BE DOG-GONNED!

Surfing the net can be interesting, boring, enlightening, fascinating and/or surprising. Such was the case when I came upon a web site with this address: A-CAN-CHA-DESIGN.COM.

Being a curious sort, I decided to log into it. It was there that I found a website where dog owners, breeders and just plain dog lovers could find goodies related to their specific breeds. For example, I’m partial to German Shepherds, having been a military dog trainer for many years.

The web site showed beautifully crafted, colorfully embroidered German Shepherd heads on fleece jackets and T-shirts. Every breed recognized by the American Kennel Club is represented. While browsing through the site, it was like I’d found a giant toy-store devoted to dogs. But that wasn’t all.

The web site was started by Candice Wolf (known to me as “Candy” Wolf.) Candy was one of my staff trainers at my dog training school Bruce Sessions’ Canine College in San Diego. That was the decade of the 1970’s following my 20 year retirement from the U.S. Navy.

I hadn’t heard from Candy since I departed San Diego and headed to Nevada to train the North Las Vegas Police canine corps. So, imagine my surprise running in to her on the web. That’s what I meant when I said surfing the net can be interesting, fascinating, enlightening…..and surprising.

Candy is still training dogs, but now offers dog owners even more of her talent by providing colorful embroidery that can be affixed to dog sweaters, coats and even that jacket you’re wearing. Why not check out the site for yourself. You’ll find it a http://a-can-cha-design.com